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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member 
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 For those of you who are not regular readers of the Saga of Mol, I got divorced in December after a 14 year relationship. Almost every guy that I dated up until that point I met in a nightclub, because I've always been into music and dancing, that was my thing and we were all young and single back then so there was a good 'candidate pool' and a very solid routine of going to the same clubs all the time. I did meet one guy via the internet. OK, so I probably need to go to a dating advice website but I wanted to see what you all had to say. As I sit here in my nearby Starbucks, I was wondering what the heck I would do if I actually saw/met someone that I thought was interesting? Same with the health club? Or even at one of my regular night clubs? Or at the hockey rink or travelling or otherwise out and about? Since I don't keep a regular routine right now its not like I am going to see the person over and over during a period of time where there is an opportunity to get to know them and work your way up to it. This is Mol: Big smile, flash of the eyes, then look the other way because I am a big chicken and don't know how to approach it. I suppose I need to learn the art of flirting, but more than that, I need to master the art of actually getting to the phone # part. Terabyte - you are probably the master of this topic. I need help! Last edited on 31 Jan 2009 06:18 pm by mollymoo24 |
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Terabyte Distinguished Member 
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LOL! Master, eh? I guess I won't dispute that. I would say that it's always good to have big balls up front but always keep the bastards guessing. If I see someone that looks interesting, I will just go up and talk to them. I will even say "hey, you are pretty," or "wow, you look cute" or whatever. Everyone always reacts well to this. The last few newest consorts I've had, let me see, how did I meet them.... okay, well one dude I was out at a free party at this club and I had to go to the bathroom and I was standing in line and this dude was standing there and he said hi to me and I just said hi back and said wow did you get aload of all those passed-out kids in there, that was pretty funny (because there was a pile of passed-out 18/19-year olds there that could not handle their stuff. and then I just said hey man, i am on a date so just give me your number and i will call you later and he did and let's see... who else is new well the other newer-ish one i was also at a party, my friend's birthday and i just said hey man what's going on, i'm katie and then just started talking to him and then i generally don't do TOO much after that. I will sometimes invite them to stuff but more often than not, I let them invite me to stuff, but not always. Try to keep it at least 60/40. Just in general though, I just go up to whoever wherever and tell them if i think they're cute. it works. like a charm. |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member 
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Mol- After losing some weight I realize something; that being friendly when you're unattractive and overweight equals (in the male mind anyway) friendliness. But if you're not unattractive or overweight and you are friendly the opposite sex takes this as flirting. I haven't perfected the technique, but everytime I'm nice to a guy he goes gaga, it's ridiculous. So throw on a smile and compliment his hair, he'll be eating out of your hands in no time! Now finding someone worth flirting with, that's a whole new issue! |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Eh, time to revitalize this topic methinks. I feel like going out on a date. I need a little male attention. And I am totally not ready for the internet onslaught that Midge encountered. Just someone nice who's a little into me, for my smile and who thinks I am interesting. Lord knows, I don't want someone who wants me for my body because once they get a look at what's left under these clothes after the weight loss they are going to go running. Toning really is your friend, and I've fallen off the wagon. Cmon, who else is dating out there? Help me build my flirting confidence! |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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Mol, I'm not "dating" but I am meeting people in a round about way. I feel exactly the same way about under the clothes. It looks "okay" with clothes but without it's pretty terrible. I just honestly don't know what to say about this because I don't plan on removing clothes for anyone until I get some major plastic surgery. |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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Oh man, plastic surgery. I so don't want to go there but occasionally I confront reality and see how much better I would look if things were tightened up. I truly believe that it is what is inside that really matters in a person, but I also want to feel good about my bod and not 'turn off' someone who otherwise likes me. When I reach my goal weight and maintain it for 3 months then I will seriously evaluate this issue. There is no point in fretting about it until I have the fitness and weight loss I really want. Anyway I got to the 'phone #' part last night but this guy did all the work so it was easy. Hey, it is a start. : ) Hey, that is 3 phone #'s this week actually, and none of them I really think I want to 'date' per se but practice talking to new guys will build confidence. : ) |
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Terabyte Distinguished Member
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hey, i think that's cool. Three numbers in a week is pretty good! So, are you going to go out with any of these dudes or probably not? Sometimes it's fun just to go out even though you know you won't see them again because you don't like them really, but sometimes the evening/day/whatever can just be a fun experience. |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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Yay for three numbers, honestly I think that's impressive!!! You should be on cloud nine right now! |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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2 probably just as friends...the third [from Friday night] I am pretty much leaning against. Terabyte knows how to handle guy like Michael, I'm not sure I am up to her speed! |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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So you meet a guy, you hang out with him, then what? What happens next? I'm confused and frustrated! This is exactly why I don't want to be single. |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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mollymoo24 wrote: Terabyte knows how to handle guy like Michael, I'm not sure I am up to her speed! Oh lord where is TB when I need her. Michael's putting on the full court press about seeing me again and it is freaking me out. I am sure I will see him on Friday at Club #2...he's so intense I think I am afraid of him... |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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The question you need to answer is do you want to hang out with him or not? And how far are you willing to go (just hang out, or relationship?). If you're getting red flags should you nip it in the bud? If that is the case start hanging out with another guy at the club, let him know you're not in the market for a boyfriend. |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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I had dinner with TM tonight. It was good. So as to not duplicate I am going to write in my journal. It's a start! |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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Yay for Mol!!! I'm so happy you got to go out! |
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mollymoo24 Distinguished Member
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I am quickly learning that it is very easy to embarass yourself, but also "nothing ventured, nothing gained". Its actually pretty easy to ask a guy out. The worst they can do is say 'no'. I guess the trick is to not make a big deal out of it and just be friendly. Gosh, am I finally getting a clue? Once you mentioned about guys wanting a fling, and being afraid of getting emotionally hurt. Its counterintuitive, because you want to like the guy you are spending time with, and then if you DO like them, you are just asking to get hurt. Yeah. Maybe it is because we are women. I don't think most men get very emotionally involved. Speaking of which, Michael, who is one smooooooth character, says he is "waiting for me" at Club #2 tonight - I gotta figure out how to nip this in the bud and yet still I am enjoying the attention, so I haven't yet. But my spidey senses are tingling... |
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OnceUpon-A-ThinGirl Distinguished Member
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Oh mol you are so right. I feel the same way, I love the attention but I don't want to get attached. You meet some adorable, charming guy you want to spend time with, then how do you protect yourself? Of course you like the guy, of course you want him to hang around! The question is how do you get him to stick around and not break your heart? |
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