| Does Anyone Else Have a Disabled Child? |
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 Dec 2007 08:52 am |
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| Does anyone else in this community have a disabled kid? My 14 year old boy was diagnosed as mentally retarded at age 7. Although it is at the high end which means it is mild. He can only do 3rd grade math but his reading level is high. Our public school here is trying to tell me that since his reading is so high and he can take care of himself that he is not eligible for special education. (note that his reading has improved so much because I homeschooled him for 4th and 5th grade) They want to put a 14 year that can barely add and subtract into regular ed! But that is besides the point. My kid (Daniel) just seems to be so angry and defiant lately. Nothing we do helps. So if anyone else has a similar situation, I'd like to compare notes! Thanks!
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hoofprints
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 Dec 2007 07:08 pm |
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I don't have a disabled child, however I did work closely with a few in a youth development capacity. I know how much support you need as parents. You sound like you are dealing with a compound issue of the handicap and the age. The behavior is confusing, is it the mental capacity? or the defiant nature of a budding teen? On occasion I did think my teens were handicapped  it turned out to be the crippling affliction "hormones".
I've watched the parents bucking a system that does not allow for variation with their handicapped child. Keep trying and speaking and eventually someone will listen. The other thought I have is you might know he's not ready....but what harm is there to try? Then the school sees he's not ready and can modify the plan. He may just surprise you and excel. I have seen it happen where the parent has spent so much time as caregiver, teacher, nurse that the perspective is skewed. Expecially in those teen years, defiance and anger are directed at boundaries. Let him stretch a little and see that maybe he needs you a little bit. Just never say "I told you"
Above all believe in him.
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blackcal
Senior Member
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Posted: 17 Mar 2008 01:51 am |
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DaniMae1 wrote: Does anyone else in this community have a disabled kid? My 14 year old boy was diagnosed as mentally retarded at age 7. Although it is at the high end which means it is mild. He can only do 3rd grade math but his reading level is high. Our public school here is trying to tell me that since his reading is so high and he can take care of himself that he is not eligible for special education. (note that his reading has improved so much because I homeschooled him for 4th and 5th grade) They want to put a 14 year that can barely add and subtract into regular ed! But that is besides the point. My kid (Daniel) just seems to be so angry and defiant lately. Nothing we do helps. So if anyone else has a similar situation, I'd like to compare notes! Thanks!
Hi DaniMae1,
I just came across your post a minute ago.
No, I don't have a child with disabilities. However, I do have a degree in special education.
The school district has to put your child in the most appropriate educational setting, per Federal law. Don't sign his IEP unless you are satisfied that the district is doing what they should be doing for your boy.
Personally, I sort of question the diagnosis. I think there is something else going on with him. A child with cognitive issues would probably not have the high reading level you describe. It sounds more like your son needs intensive math work. How does he do in his other (non math) subjects? He might just have something like dyscalculia, a math learning disability. He should only be in a regular math classroom if he has a lot of accommodations and modifications designed to meet his individual needs. His IEP should be written to help your child make effective progress in the classroom.
Of course your son is getting angry. He's extremely frustrated because his needs are not being met, through no fault of yours.
If the district does not cooperate, you need to become familiar with the appeals process for special education matters in your state. You might have to go to the hearing level to get what you need for your son to succeed in school. It sounds like he would also benefit from professional testing done outside the school system in order to get an updated diagnosis.
Good luck.
Blackcal
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