| How to help a friend with an eating disorder |
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emily_rose1
New Member
| Joined: | 1 Jun 2006 |
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| Posts: | 23 |
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Posted: 14 Jun 2006 05:40 am |
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This topic was suggested in another discussion and I thought it was a good idea. So, people with e.ds or who have had them can suggest ways to behave around friends with eating disorders and what helped and didnt help them. :)
What to do and what not to do
1. Sometimes you just want someone to be 'normal' with. When my friends asked me EVERY lunch time why I wasnt eating, and discussing why I needed to and lecturing me on how unhealthy it is not to eat, it didnt make me want to eat. I felt angry and cornered and I stopped hanging around them because it was just too arkward. I really wanted to do stuff with them but i was always so scared that they'd bring my e.d. up and I wouldnt know what to say.
2. Dont ever confront someone with an e.d. with a whole group of people. Seriously. This is one of the WORST feelings ever. There is nothing worse than having 5 or 6 friends come up do you and all want to know whats going on, when all you want to do is avoid everything. One on one is the best i feel.
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Peter
Founder of this forum
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
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| Posts: | 4180 |
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Posted: 14 Jun 2006 06:59 am |
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To help someone with an ED, feel comfortable being yourself in front of them unless they request that you behave otherwise.
I like it when people eat however they want around me. The less they fuss over me and my (odd) eating habits, the easier it is for me to just be myself and eat as I please.
Peter
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pink***
Senior Member
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Posted: 14 Jun 2006 08:43 am |
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1. Don't try and make them eat anything, even if you think it's healthy. It will just make them more determined not to eat or could just make them feel worse.
2. Praise them on things that arn't related to weight or looks even in just day to day things to boost their confidence and self-worth.
3. I think being yourself and showing that you are there for them no matter what is important as well. If they do decide to talk, at least they know they've got someone there they can trust.
4. If the topic comes up try just to listen and try not to advise them. And listen really carefully cos something that they say may not seem major to you, but even admitting an E.D. is a really hard thing and a big step for someone suffering from one. Encourage them to seek help, but don't push them into it and ask what they want to do. People seem to think that trying to fix the problem for someone else is the best thing but if someone is not ready to recover, pushing them will not help and might make them worse.
I hope that helps, but I suppose it's always different for everyone.
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emily_rose1
New Member
| Joined: | 1 Jun 2006 |
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| Posts: | 23 |
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Posted: 14 Jun 2006 10:12 pm |
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^^ yep. i def agree with #4 especially.. :)
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Amybcb
New Member
| Joined: | 4 Jun 2006 |
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| Posts: | 24 |
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Posted: 5 Nov 2006 05:12 pm |
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| The best thing my friends did for me was tell me that they supported me, loved me and wanted to see me well. That they would be willing to go to couseling WITH ME so I didn't have to face it alone. The kind of love brings tears to my eyes to this day (15 years later). I have told them how much it meant to have someone really care like that and be so supportive. They never pushed me or tried to force me to eat, but sometimes they would say 'hey let's share a brownie' which was much less intimidating because you were sharing the "bad food".
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