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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 Jan 2012 10:33 pm |
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A good friend, Fat Bastard of Bigger Fatter Politics has graciously given me his permission to post this snippet from his highly popular blog.
http://biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.com/2012/01/coming-soon-proud-fas-obesogenic-diet.html
Gaining Tips. A glutton's guide for packing on the fat and pounds.
Start with tasty fattening like sweet tea or other foods that have calories for your body.
Examine your current eating habit and stop consuming those with negative effects on your weight gain plan.
Find a book of calories and learn what type of food that will help you gain weight.
Sit.
Invest in food delivery service.
Watch your consumption of foods that have a lot of fiber, eat refined sugar and fat, resist temptations to snack on vegetables, and whole grains. Increase fatty red meat. Eat with ferocity.
Super-size your dinner plate, the more food that is served to you, the more you will eat. The same goes for liquid with the exception of water. Avoid water!
Frequent napping daily for 30 to 45 minutes. Buy a pedometer and aim for under 100 steps a day.
Find opportunities to conserve calories by taking the elevator and get others to run errands for you.
Eat quickly and excitedly, if you eat too slowly your brain will eventually tell you that you are no longer hungry.
Drink lots of heavy cream, at least 8 glasses a day.
Nap and doze frequently.
When doing your groceries, pick hig-fat foods, like milk, cheese, cream, butter , yogurt etc.
Snack on fruits, candied apples and chocolate covered raisins.
Eat more at home and have your meals delivered.
Be mindful of your salad dressing, the type and how much and pour it on liberally.
People tend to under-eat when they are depressed or stressed, so be mindful to indulge in comfort-food when you feel down.
Place notes at strategic locations for eg on the fridge door that reminds you that you are trying to gain weight.
Reward yourself after each weekly success. Indulge and pig-out
Make a list of all the yummy foods that you crave and tend to binge on and eat as many of those foods as you can get your greedy paws on.
Make a list of clothes that will look good on you once you gain weight.
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artistjohn
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 Mar 2012 02:04 pm |
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U.S. Statistic Highlights
89% of American could locate the United States on a map whereas 95% of the French could locate the United States. It's embarrassing that roughly 1 in 10 Americans could NOT find their own country on a map.
* 49% of Americans could not find New York State on a map
* 51% could not locate Pennsylvania
* 69% could not find Massachusetts
Make you feel proud to be American
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 Mar 2012 03:16 pm |
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artistjohn wrote: U.S. Statistic Highlights
89% of American could locate the United States on a map whereas 95% of the French could locate the United States. It's embarrassing that roughly 1 in 10 Americans could NOT find their own country on a map.
* 49% of Americans could not find New York State on a map
* 51% could not locate Pennsylvania
* 69% could not find Massachusetts
Make you feel proud to be American
USA has the highest GDP in the world.
USA put a man on the moon.
Most inventions are American.
People migrate to the USA.
We kick #%@&! in the Olympics.
We have good dentists.
We wouldn't kill a great lady like Princess Diana.
We invented the space shuttle.
We invented the internet and 99% of it's technology.
We saved your butts in WW-1 and WW-2
We would never have anyone as stupid as Neville Chamberlain.
Michael Bisping is a jerk and Dan Henderson an old man put his lights out.
We make the best movies.
We have the best TV shows.
We have the best navy, army and air force.
We have normal ears.
We have the best athletes.
We have the hottest looking movie stars.
I think you Brits need to figure out that if it were not for the US of A you'd all be speaking German now.
So Aunt John you tried to match wits with a Yank and look what happened. There must be something in the water that makes us superior.
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Artemis
New Member
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Posted: 7 Jul 2012 12:44 pm |
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JSABD
I think you Brits need to figure out that if it were not for the US of A you'd all be speaking German now.
So Aunt John you tried to match wits with a Yank and look what happened. There must be something in the water that makes us superior.
hmm you don't do a very good job of understanding us anyway, please get naked so i may approve if you are a decent yank.
i didn't think yanks knew anything about water, normally aren't they located at the nearest soda fountain.
by the way British and proud.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 Jul 2012 01:28 am |
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Artemis wrote: JSABD
I think you Brits need to figure out that if it were not for the US of A you'd all be speaking German now.
So Aunt John you tried to match wits with a Yank and look what happened. There must be something in the water that makes us superior.
hmm you don't do a very good job of understanding us anyway, please get naked so i may approve if you are a decent yank.
i didn't think yanks knew anything about water, normally aren't they located at the nearest soda fountain.
by the way British and proud.
Finally Jaguars are decent cars since Ford took them over.
The last funny movie you guys produced was Monty Python.
You haven't had a decent band since the Who, Zep, Stones and Beatles.
All the Beatles came to live in the US.
Last edited on 8 Jul 2012 01:30 am by JSABD
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Artemis
New Member
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Posted: 8 Jul 2012 05:29 pm |
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JSABD wrote:
Finally Jaguars are decent cars since Ford took them over.
knows he didn't pronounce the word jaguar correctly, snickers.
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PuffsPlus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 Jul 2012 02:48 pm |
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Frequent napping daily for 30 to 45 minutes....Nap and doze frequently.
Not sure why napping and dozing would cause one to gain weight. In fact, lack of sleep is associated with higher BMI and obesity. You need enough sleep to properly regulate our hunger/satiety hormones.
Drink lots of heavy cream, at least 8 glasses a day.
Yeah, that would certainly help to pack the pounds on, but it would be expensive and would probably also give you a really bad case of the runs. There are much cheaper sources of extra calories out there than heavy cream. How about drinking as much HFCS as possible?
People tend to under-eat when they are depressed or stressed....
Actually, no, the opposite is now known to be true. Stress and depression tends to make people overeat. It is an individual reaction, though; some people do undereat in reaction to stress and depression. It might also depend on the degree to which the stress/depression is experienced.
I know when I am slightly depressed, I tend to overeat. When severely depressed, though, I lose all appetite and stop eating, often for days at a time.
Snack on fruits, candied apples and chocolate covered raisins.
Umm, snacking on plain fruits themselves will not make you tend to gain weight. Unprocessed fruits have a decent amount of fiber and water and are moderate in sugar and calories with the exception of some tropical fruits like bananas, which are high in sugar.
A better suggestion for promoting weight gain would be to snack liberally on dried/sugar-coated/candy-coated/chocolate-coated fruit AND ESPECIALLY fruit juice.
knows he didn't pronounce the word jaguar correctly, snickers.
My husband, a car aficionado, ALWAYS says it the right way: JAG-ewe-ahr.Last edited on 9 Jul 2012 02:49 pm by PuffsPlus
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Mrs_Slowski
New Member
| Joined: | 26 Mar 2012 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 62 |
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Posted: 10 Jul 2012 02:15 am |
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I can say it right too, thanks to Pink Floyd,who was missing from that list, along with Queen! 
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 Jul 2012 10:23 pm |
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PuffsPlus wrote: Frequent napping daily for 30 to 45 minutes....Nap and doze frequently.
Not sure why napping and dozing would cause one to gain weight. In fact, lack of sleep is associated with higher BMI and obesity. You need enough sleep to properly regulate our hunger/satiety hormones.
The true experts on gaining are sumo wrestlers. They eat and nap a lot.
Drink lots of heavy cream, at least 8 glasses a day.
Yeah, that would certainly help to pack the pounds on, but it would be expensive and would probably also give you a really bad case of the runs. There are much cheaper sources of extra calories out there than heavy cream. How about drinking as much HFCS as possible?
Fat fattens best. Carbs have a measly 4 cals per gram whereas fat has a whopping 9. Since most fatlings have diabetes they can't take in a lot of sugar.
People tend to under-eat when they are depressed or stressed....
Actually, no, the opposite is now known to be true. Stress and depression tends to make people overeat. It is an individual reaction, though; some people do undereat in reaction to stress and depression. It might also depend on the degree to which the stress/depression is experienced.
I know when I am slightly depressed, I tend to overeat. When severely depressed, though, I lose all appetite and stop eating, often for days at a time.
http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-report/major-depression/depressions-effect-on-appetite.aspx
Depression causes loss of appetite but anti depressants cause massive spike in appetites so indirectly depression can lead to gaining. 99% of the people on anti depressants don't need them. Fatlings on antidepressants really have a tougher time dropping the pounds.
Snack on fruits, candied apples and chocolate covered raisins.
Umm, snacking on plain fruits themselves will not make you tend to gain weight. Unprocessed fruits have a decent amount of fiber and water and are moderate in sugar and calories with the exception of some tropical fruits like bananas, which are high in sugar.
A better suggestion for promoting weight gain would be to snack liberally on dried/sugar-coated/candy-coated/chocolate-coated fruit AND ESPECIALLY fruit juice.
You would male a great gainer!
knows he didn't pronounce the word jaguar correctly, snickers.
Sinkers is a great candy bar for gainers.
My husband, a car aficionado, ALWAYS says it the right way: JAG-ewe-ahr.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 11 Jul 2012 10:51 pm |
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Artemis wrote: JSABD wrote:
Finally Jaguars are decent cars since Ford took them over.
knows he didn't pronounce the word jaguar correctly, snickers.
Let me correct you on a few things.
Aluminum [uh-loo-muh-nuhm
schedule [skej-ool, -ool, -oo-uhl; Brit. shed-yool, shej-ool]
Wrench! not Spanner! Needed is you own an English car.
Hood not bonnet... the most used part on an English car. Hood the name of a British ship sunk by the Germans.
Spunk means spirit not man cream.
Elevator
Lift where you find most British cars.
The petroleum based hydro carbon used as a motor fuel.
Proof that American engineering can take a dog of a car and turn it into a winner.
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