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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 04:35 pm |
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I don't want to hear excuses. I want to hear valid reasons. If you have any valid reasons we can work on those and overcome those hurdles but if you don't then you have some serious soul searching to do.
Why does food and the pleasure there from mean more to you than your spouse and kinds or you mom and dad or your siblings?
What makes you any different than the defiant drunk or the clever crystal meth user?
I doubt their will be too many responses to this thread and the ones who do respond with attack me personally so that they can avoid answering the question. They will cry foul. They will threaten to leave. They will say I am rude but they won't answer the question.
Check out the New NAAFA http://naafa.blogspot.com/
Last edited on 28 Jul 2011 02:27 pm by JSABD
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 04:46 pm |
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| Until I got married,there was nobody depending on me. I love my parents and all but to be honest, I love my husband more.I'm still fat because there's still some weight left to lose that was here before we married. It's coming off.
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ItsOnlyMe
Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 04:57 pm |
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For me, I was thin until I got married. I always enjoyed food as a single person, but when we got married, sharing love of food with another person became very desirable.
I love my wife very much, and when we were both eating unhealthy food, we didn't consider that we were putting food before spouse. We viewed food as one way of spending time together, becoming closer to each other. We didn't consciously decide that food was more important than family. To us, it felt the other way round.
That's all changed now. We're both eating healthy, we're both losing weight, and I won't deny it - we both still find pleasure in eating. I don't think that's a bad thing, as long as it's healthy, and it doesn't become the focus of our lives.
To quote Tankgirl, I'm still fat but it's coming off.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 05:02 pm |
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IOM,
Is your wife losing too? Hub's doing the same without really trying. I just don't bring home candy, regular soda or fast food, unless specifically asked and even then I "forget" to supersize or that second order of fries! 
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ItsOnlyMe
Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 05:13 pm |
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Yes she is.
But we're not eating the same food. We still eat together (I think that's very important), but I'm on my weight-loss plan, and she's on hers. They both seem to be working.
We both enjoy our controversial cheat-day (Sunday), and generally eat the same things then (but we don't go crazy).
Doing this together (in our unconventional way) keeps us going. I think it would be harder on my own.
Doesn't your husband notice that there's no junk in the house?
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 05:20 pm |
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| There's still junk in the house. He used to hide it,not so much because it was tempting, but because I was afraid I'd mindlessly eat it before I could catch myself. Now it's no big deal, unless it takes up space in the fridge that I want for the ginormous packages of produce I bring home from the warehouse store. ( I tend to get carried away )
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ItsOnlyMe
Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 05:29 pm |
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| We're still in that early stage where we can't bring junk into the house. Our willpower is getting better but it's still not as strong as it should be yet.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 06:09 pm |
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ItsOnlyMe wrote: For me, I was thin until I got married. I always enjoyed food as a single person, but when we got married, sharing love of food with another person became very desirable.
I love my wife very much, and when we were both eating unhealthy food, we didn't consider that we were putting food before spouse. We viewed food as one way of spending time together, becoming closer to each other. We didn't consciously decide that food was more important than family. To us, it felt the other way round.
That's all changed now. We're both eating healthy, we're both losing weight, and I won't deny it - we both still find pleasure in eating. I don't think that's a bad thing, as long as it's healthy, and it doesn't become the focus of our lives.
To quote Tankgirl, I'm still fat but it's coming off.
Food is not something that requires love. Think very deeply about that statement. What you feel for food is not love. It's lust.
Your actions in selecting the food were conscious ones. They were not mindful but you were not doing them in your sleep.
Food is not love and it is not your friend. All food is is a substance we require for life.
Moderation is key. There are food that are pleasurable like grapes, apples, fish, chicken, beef, grains and then there are food that become highly pleasurable like the junk foods.
If you have ever smoked the first puffs were awful but the more you did it the better it felt until you and the nicotine created an itch you love to scratch. Junk food is like nicotine. You don't need it but you want it. I will not allow anything to have power over my will.
When I was a kid my grandmother and I would have an apple party. To this day I really enjoy a good Macintosh apple. It is a treat you can have often. The question is do I treat myself with a candy bar that is gone in a few bites or do it eat a few apples over the course of the day. I pick the apples. I do eat chocolate and I will nibble on some with a nice glass of Cabernet or a Primitivo Zin. It lasts a long time and for me it beats ice cream.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 Jul 2011 06:14 pm |
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ItsOnlyMe wrote: We're still in that early stage where we can't bring junk into the house. Our willpower is getting better but it's still not as strong as it should be yet.
Don't ever bring it in. There are some great tasting healthy foods and when you acquire a taste for them you may not even want junk food.
People with "big appetites" ask me how to reduce those appetites but I tell them that a big appetite can be a good thing. If you eat more health foods you get more nutrients. The part they have to be careful with is selecting the right food. They need to select with their brains and not their bellies.
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PuffsPlus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 Jul 2011 09:09 am |
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When I'm tempted to overeat, I will stop first and ask myself if I want this food more than I want to be healthy for my husband and myself. Let's see if it works!
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 Jul 2011 03:54 pm |
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PuffsPlus wrote: When I'm tempted to overeat, I will stop first and ask myself if I want this food more than I want to be healthy for my husband and myself. Let's see if it works!
A lot has to do with positive and negative self talk. For many years I have observed the speech pattern of fat people. Most have been women because women talk more. They use terms when describing food like "it was soooooooooooo good" or I love that cake, burger, pizza ect..
Food is neither good or bad. It's either healthy or unhealthy or unhealthy.
You said, I want to be healthy for my husband. That's good but say it another way. Husbands deserve a healthy wife. Or Greg deserves a healthy wife. The same goes for men. Wives deserve a healthy husband.
Is it possible to love a child who is not even conceived yet?
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 27 Jul 2011 04:01 pm |
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JS-
Yes,and I don't even know if we'll have one.
First concern is the weight, of course. Once goal comes around no more artificial sweetener, high mercury fish, caffeine...am I leaving anything out?
At least by then I'll be at goal and hub will have to give up his cancer sticks 
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 Jul 2011 10:22 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: JS-
Yes,and I don't even know if we'll have one.
First concern is the weight, of course. Once goal comes around no more artificial sweetener, high mercury fish, caffeine...am I leaving anything out?
At least by then I'll be at goal and hub will have to give up his cancer sticks
You may have heard me say that obesity is a symptom of a greater problem and I think I will leave that to the philosophers and theologians. I can only guess as to why modern humans are the way they are. It seems as though if life doesn't deal us a bad hand we figure out a way to play the good cards we were dealt wrong. I have some theories but I am not usually a theory type of guy.
I wonder about smokers. Today we have the patch, nicotine gum and electronic cigarettes yet people still chose to inhale the 1000's of toxin in cigarettes. It boggles the mind. I don't use recreational drugs but I have no problem with people who do use them responsibly. I suppose doing some MDMA, or pot or downing a Vicodin with a glass of wine is OK but to inhale smoke just to quell a nicotine craving to me seems about as irrational as it gets.
Tonight my wife and I made 2 incredible pizzas. One was made with fresh tomatoes, fresh basil and low fat Mozzarella and some fresh garlic. The other was a traditional pie. We enjoyed a nice bottle of Layer Cake Primativo and some dark Dove chocolate with the wine. Everything we ate was healthy and tasty. We don't have a lump of grease sitting in our bellies and we have enough pizza left over for when the kids come home from their aunt's house if they get hungry later.
Many diets say that junk food/treats in moderation are OK. I have a problem with that. Treats are to a fat person like alcohol is to a drunk. I may be wrong on this and I need to study it more but based on what I have seen junk/food should be avoided 100%. It is just too tempting and it never allows the junk food junkie to lose their desire for it. Either way, why take the chance?
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 03:47 am |
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JS, Why can't treats be healthy? Not junk food, obviously but that's made to be as cheap and addictive as possible. Calling it "food" is giving it more credit than it deserves.
But pizza is easy to make into a healthy food. Cocoa is high in fiber a few minerals, and has antioxidants.Wine's personally not my thing, more a tea girl here, but they both have some benefits.
Personally I think this is the silliest gadget ever invented, and nearly fell off the couch laughing at the infomercial, but if this helps somebody, more power to them : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QUvcXchIPU it's that thing that makes frozen desserts out of bananas. I do the same with greek yogurt or whey protein shakes. Just mix it up put the bowl in the freezer, scrape the sides and stir it up every 15 minutes until you get the consistency you want.
Point is, if you miss something - figure out your own healthy version. After enough trial and error it always turns out better than the "real thing"
I'd nag my husband about the smoking but I don't have any moral high ground when I'm still carrying 10+ years of sweets around my middle. He knows he's in for it when it's gone though. He's like me that way, he never expected to find somebody.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 03:47 am |
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rats, double post. Oh well, Hey JS -enough with the food porn already  You've got me wanting caprese salad with yellow pear tomatoes- and that salmon you posted last night.
Last edited on 28 Jul 2011 05:18 am by Tankgirl
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 02:07 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: JS, Why can't treats be healthy? Not junk food, obviously but that's made to be as cheap and addictive as possible. Calling it "food" is giving it more credit than it deserves.
But pizza is easy to make into a healthy food. Cocoa is high in fiber a few minerals, and has antioxidants.Wine's personally not my thing, more a tea girl here, but they both have some benefits.
Personally I think this is the silliest gadget ever invented, and nearly fell off the couch laughing at the infomercial, but if this helps somebody, more power to them : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QUvcXchIPU it's that thing that makes frozen desserts out of bananas. I do the same with greek yogurt or whey protein shakes. Just mix it up put the bowl in the freezer, scrape the sides and stir it up every 15 minutes until you get the consistency you want.
Point is, if you miss something - figure out your own healthy version. After enough trial and error it always turns out better than the "real thing"
I'd nag my husband about the smoking but I don't have any moral high ground when I'm still carrying 10+ years of sweets around my middle. He knows he's in for it when it's gone though. He's like me that way, he never expected to find somebody.
I do think actually I know why humans like junk foods. We are supposed to enjoy foods and we are supposed to seek variety but that only means foods from nature. Humans have spent most of their evolutionary lives as hunter and gatherers and we were fine and then we discovered agriculture and more recently the insanity we have now. A cave man may have found the slop Americans eat today to be unpalatable and even someone 100 years ago may find the slop available today unappealing. If we return out palates to an earlier time when food was wholesome and clean we would have a tough time getting fat.
In most cases there is no reason to cook food. We rarely cook fruits. Many vegetables are edible uncooked. It's a matter of how much pleasure form food is too much. That little organ in our mouth called our tongue should not dictate what we eat these days. When food was clean we needed to rely on our tongue to tell us what was safe. We aren't cavemen any longer but as a society we behave like them. With today's polluted food supply we need to be increasingly vigilante about the food we select for consumption.
People are not born gluttonous and hedonistic we allow ourselves to become that way. When we start placing our own creature comforts above responsibility we will start behaving like hedonistic gluttons unable to apply the brakes of moderation and accountability. We are a modern day Roman Empire. As a society we have relinquished our autonomy and responsibility and handed it over to a nanny state that is controlled by corporations who see us as nothing but consumers. There only concern is to use us until we die and keep us fat, stupid, apathetic and content in the process.
This reform process provides empowerment to people who have for all intents and purposes just given up and given in.
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Nancy_in_GA
Moderator
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 02:19 pm |
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I could be wrong, but I don't think wild animals ever get fat, even when food is abundant, do they? I've been following The Decorah Iowa eagles since April (live cam feed on the web since January). They live within a few hundred feet of a fish hatchery, which has a special pond for culled fish. They could get fish easily any time, but none is overweight. I wonder if someone spiked their fish, so they smelled or tasted better/different, would that change?
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 02:32 pm |
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Nancy_in_GA wrote: I could be wrong, but I don't think wild animals ever get fat, even when food is abundant, do they? I've been following The Decorah Iowa eagles since April (live cam feed on the web since January). They live within a few hundred feet of a fish hatchery, which has a special pond for culled fish. They could get fish easily any time, but none is overweight. I wonder if someone spiked their fish, so they smelled or tasted better/different, would that change?
They do and if they are prey they get eaten.
Also food available in the wild satisfies instead of fattify. Food today is for pleasure and fattification.
Humans animals too but we no longer belong to the earth. We rape the earth.
You gave me a lot to think about. Thank you.
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McBalls
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 03:06 pm |
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It's simple. Food is an escape. Just like a drunk or a junkie; it's their booze, their heroin, their addiction that allows them to escape what they percieve as an unloving environment. They escape from this, while also simultaneously hurting those around them- two birds with one stone. You get what you want while saying 'FU' to the world. The alcoholic doesn't care who they abuse as long as they get their drink. The junkie doesn't care where the needle has been or whose money they've stolen to get their fix. The glutton doesn't care who puts up with their inevitable depression/bad moods, lazyness, and unsightliness, as long as they get McDonalds.
If you don't like that I added unsightly to that list, consider this: when your neighbour lets all of their junk or garbage pile up in their front yard, do you want to look at that or see that? No, of course not. You call the city and have them do something about it. You can't call the city and ask them to do something about your spouse or friend or yourself even. But appearance and presentation do matter to some degree. I'm not talking about the guy that hasn't put his lawn mower and recycling bin away. I'm talking about the hoarder that has rusted cars and scrap metal all over their yard. It's offensive, no one wants to see it. It's not like you can't get by having a few extra pounds, but why let your body turn into a junkyard? If your health is out of order, do something about it! And if someone you love is letting things pile up, intervene. It's your responsibility, when you love someone, to make certain they have the best in life. That includes the best you.
It might sound hurtful and unflattering, but it's the truth. If you aren't doing something about your situation, then you obviously care more about getting your fix than fixing your family.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 03:29 pm |
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| I think what upsets people is, if we're on this site we're doing something about it.
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McBalls
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 03:39 pm |
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| Not necessarily. Not everyone on this site is giving it their all. If you are, that's excellent. But I think that there are some slackers who would benefit from a good, old-fashioned, left hook from M2.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 05:31 pm |
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| In some cases maybe. But I'm sure most of us have gone though times where we've put all our effort in to diet/exercise, and still been stuck in a stall. First you have to restrain yourself from kicking the rackafratzin' scale across the bathroom floor, and then come here to see the latest from JS. I'm sure it's going to be better now that it's in a separate section. Last edited on 28 Jul 2011 06:04 pm by Tankgirl
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 06:32 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: In some cases maybe. But I'm sure most of us have gone though times where we've put all our effort in to diet/exercise, and still been stuck in a stall. First you have to restrain yourself from kicking the rackafratzin' scale across the bathroom floor, and then come here to see the latest from JS. I'm sure it's going to be better now that it's in a separate section.
It does not have to be difficult. You have seen what I look like. I don't work at it. I merely live right.
Shows like the Biggest Loser paint a dishonest picture of weight loss. What the do to fat people and how they portray them is revolting. Putting a morbidly obese person on a piece of exercise equipment and essentially saying move that fat fatty to the point they cry or get injured is sadistic and exploiting. Worse than that it is not required and tells people that they need a team of weight loss gurus to tell them what to do. I get fatlings to a point where they learn what they need to do and then they do it.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 06:42 pm |
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| That was more for Mcballs- I know that even though she's slim she's probably gone through that too. That and I'm just being impatient since I lost 3 pounds and then stopped for the last couple of days. Grrr. if I don't start losing again by Monday, this will be me : Attached Image (viewed 429 times):
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 Jul 2011 11:42 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: That was more for Mcballs- I know that even though she's slim she's probably gone through that too. That and I'm just being impatient since I lost 3 pounds and then stopped for the last couple of days. Grrr. if I don't start losing again by Monday, this will be me :
Weigh yourself no more than once a week. A gallon of water weighs over 8 pounds. I drank a 1/2 gallon of water just before I mowed the lawn today. If I had stepped onto the scale I would have weighed 4 pounds more than my normal weight.
Don't just weigh yourself use a measuring tape too.
Weigh yourself in the morning and remember the rule. Lose no more than 1 pound per 100 pounds of body weight. When you user 150 the weight comes of more slowly. This is normal and it means you are dieting correctly.
If you eat at your BMR you will be fine. I promise.
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Tankgirl
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 1 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 538 |
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Posted: 29 Jul 2011 04:24 am |
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| I'm just dropping calories temporarily because I want lose an even 100 by my birthday .It's so freakin' close.Then I'll switch back to my BMR . By then I'll be a year older and 9 pounds lighter so that will make it a bit easier.
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TheAntiTroll
New Member
| Joined: | 24 Jul 2011 |
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| Posts: | 49 |
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Posted: 29 Jul 2011 10:00 am |
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| Socrates- Thoust shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 Jul 2011 03:46 pm |
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Tankgirl wrote: I'm just dropping calories temporarily because I want lose an even 100 by my birthday .It's so freakin' close.Then I'll switch back to my BMR . By then I'll be a year older and 9 pounds lighter so that will make it a bit easier.
I know it's tempting and chances are it won't hurt you but slow and steady wins the race.
Keep in mind this is not a contest with the scale nor is it a war against fat. This is a quest for good health and a better life.
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