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schushoe
New Member
| Joined: | 22 Apr 2009 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 23 Apr 2009 12:54 am |
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| I've lost 50-ish pounds in the past year or so. I found out I have sleep apnea, and the weight loss just started as I treated my medical issues. Didn't try at first, but now am trying. Seeing a personal trainer and LOVING it. I love the gym and eating well. I just do. (Weird I know!) I know people feel better after they have lost weight, but I don't really have that sense of accomplishment. I want to be confident and have self-esteem, but loosing all this weight seems superficial. I know it's not 'cause I need to do it to be healthy, but people coming up to me saying "oh my goodness you look SOOO good" is making me absolutely nuts. I want to be invisible or put a bag over my head or something. I know people say oh dress up and make yourself to look nice to make yourself feel better but again... doesn't really work for me as it seems superficial. I'm freaking about being self conscious and am even afraid to wear a tank top or shorts, and am more so now that I am thinner. I'd absolutely LOVE someone's advice on these emotions I'm having. Has anyone else felt this way? Thanks for everyone reading this!
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KristaK
New Member
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Posted: 4 May 2009 09:51 pm |
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You actually remind me of myself, no need to worry.
These emotions are normal at first.
You will build up more courage and get used to yourself once more.
Well I wish you well, and good luck during your journey of losing weight!.
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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 May 2009 08:34 am |
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Yes, I can relate, too.
I've lost 149 pounds, and I still struggle with self-confidence issues. I receive a lot of comments, too, and the temporary boosts I get seem a bit superficial to me sometimes, as well.
It bears to note that losing weight does not automatically increase self-confidence for many people. If you're in the same boat as me, then you have had self esteem issues for a very long time, and it will take a long time for the mind to catch up.
Recently, my mind finally is starting to catch up. I'm starting to like what I see when I look in the mirror. I still see a lot of flaws, and I'm still too hard on myself, but it's a vast improvement over thinking that I'm a nobody.
Every person on this planet is beautifully and wonderfully made. This is cliche, but I truly do believe that we are all beautiful in our own way. It's very important that we learn to love ourselves, just as we are. That doesn't mean we shouldn't still try to improve ourselves, but I have found that the more I love myself, the more I want to improve myself, because I am worth it. So are you.
Give it time. Take time to celebrate your accomplishments. That can be hard to do, I know, but 50 pounds is a milestone! It's more than a lot of other people have the willpower to accomplish!
I know if you search deep enough, you can find many positive qualities about yourself. Be honest in acknowledging your strengths and your flaws. Work on changing what you can change, and try to learn to accept what you cannot. That is easier said than done, but it helps with time.
Also, even though those temporary boosts you get might seem superficial, they can help you when the going gets rough. The community here, in particular, is absolutely wonderful, and they have helped me many a time when I was feeling low. Let your friends encourage you, and even if you have a difficult time accepting their compliments, let them sink in. You do not have to do this alone, even if you might prefer to.
Stay encouraged!
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cportwine
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 6 May 2009 03:27 pm |
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| Yep like the others said it will take time. I use to force myself to do things. I finally got comfortable with things and it's not an issue now. But, last summer was the first time I wore a bathing suit public, in I can't even remember how many years. Yes, I had to force myself. I also had to force the tank tops also. So, hang in there..... you'll get through it all.
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Hellrazor
New Member
| Joined: | 6 Jul 2008 |
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| Posts: | 872 |
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Posted: 6 May 2009 08:12 pm |
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I struggled with taking off my shirt in public for several yrs. Once I lost my 100lbs I still felt this way. The more those temporary boosts came in the more confident I became. You may think they are superficial take them in and know that they are telling you this because you must look good now. A reward for your hard work that you did small but still a reward. I finally ended my fear of taking off my shirt public on hot days and felt very rewarding. Give it time and you will get used to the new you & feel good. In fact go buy some new clothes that helped me a lot. It made me really look at what I did and that I did something most people struggle to do. Be proud of what you did cause most people don't do what you did congrats !!!
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doctoru2
New Member
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Posted: 7 May 2009 09:33 pm |
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schushoe wrote: I've lost 50-ish pounds in the past year or so. I found out I have sleep apnea, and the weight loss just started as I treated my medical issues. Didn't try at first, but now am trying. Seeing a personal trainer and LOVING it. I love the gym and eating well. I just do. (Weird I know!) I know people feel better after they have lost weight, but I don't really have that sense of accomplishment. I want to be confident and have self-esteem, but loosing all this weight seems superficial. I know it's not 'cause I need to do it to be healthy, but people coming up to me saying "oh my goodness you look SOOO good" is making me absolutely nuts. I want to be invisible or put a bag over my head or something. I know people say oh dress up and make yourself to look nice to make yourself feel better but again... doesn't really work for me as it seems superficial. I'm freaking about being self conscious and am even afraid to wear a tank top or shorts, and am more so now that I am thinner. I'd absolutely LOVE someone's advice on these emotions I'm having. Has anyone else felt this way? Thanks for everyone reading this!
To me, this sounds like you simply aren't used to attention. 
I don't know you, obviously, so I'm only speculating. When you were heavier, did you avoid the "limelight"? That is, did you dress in less flattering clothing (even baggy clothes) and try to avoid attention? Did you use your weight as an excuse to "hide" in the background?
If so, you aren't unique. People tend to shun attention if they feel they have a weakness of some sort - especially if it relates to appearance. Issues regarding weight, hair, skin, etc., may have us dressing down (baggy, unflattering clothing) and "hiding" in the background. It sounds shallow, but it's human nature.
Even if you did not intentionally "hide", it's clear that since you have lost weight, people are noticing you quite a bit more! And I think this is what is really surprising you - the attention that you didn't have or seek before has been thrust upon you.
There are two ways to deal with this: ignore it or embrace it. Ignoring it means just thanking people for their compliments, then going back to your normal routine. But embracing it means - at least to me - accepting yourself. In other words, despite what you may feel is superficial, you accept how you look and how the world now perceives you. And with that acceptance comes confidence.
I understand the shallow aspect of this. People are noticing you for your appearance, not your accomplishments. But your weight loss IS an accomplishment. People are acknowledging your success and I hope you can as well. So while it may seem a superficial achievement, it is really a big deal. Not only do you look better, but as you stated, you are healthier. That is something to celebrate! 
Soon people will adapt to the "new you" and focus on your other successes as before. So enjoy the attention. 
*edited to correct slight typo.
Last edited on 7 May 2009 09:34 pm by doctoru2
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6months_2win
Senior Member
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Posted: 8 Jun 2009 12:08 pm |
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I like others have felt this way. A bit weired after loosing weight.
"When you were heavier, did you avoid the "limelight"? That is, did you dress in less flattering clothing (even baggy clothes) and try to avoid attention? Did you use your weight as an excuse to "hide" in the background?"
Yup, sounds just like myself also. I am dealing with it, so should you. After all your happiness is what matters in the end. Stay strong.
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socialgym
New Member
| Joined: | 14 Sep 2009 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 16 Sep 2009 08:50 pm |
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I think this is the case with so many different people. I also have lost a good amount of weight (60 lbs) and still feel self-conscious about my body. It just goes to show that self-image is not just skin deep. It becomes a mind-set that weight loss helps to break but in the end it's about loving your body and yourself.
Just because we lost weight does not mean we lost the bad habit of constantly critiquing ourselves. It is a habit you must fight even to lose even more than weight, and it can only derail your progress. I honestly think that with every weight loss program there should be a self-esteem portion before and after your weight loss, targeting why you feel bad about yourself and how weight loss will help you better the situation on the inside, not just the outside.
The truth is it wasn't normal for us to receive the compliments. It's not normal for us to look as good as we do. The comfortable norm was to feel badly about ourselves and wish we were in better shape, not to think about how we would feel when we got there. I think it's normal but with time, and with the privileges of gaining the confidence, you will feel great about yourself.
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katelyn
New Member
| Joined: | 8 Sep 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 13 |
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Posted: 19 Sep 2009 06:47 pm |
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I know what you are feeling. We came to the point when we thought that we will be gaining that 50% of confident when we fit in our clothes or got thinner and healthier anytime. Then when we get there, we kinda lost it. Not because we reach our goal. Is the coming outside, or those compliments that we are not use to. It would take us longer to realize that it feels good. It will take time, I agree with everyone. We are still in the phase we are going to feel good about ourselves.
You got to love yourself more so people can love you more. And when you reach that, it is time to share your experiences to others.
Some do feel good and can adapt easily when they see that they have helped someone. And that is where real satisfaction in life.
Last edited on 19 Sep 2009 06:48 pm by katelyn
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Past Member
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Posted: 21 Sep 2009 05:15 am |
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| Test Last edited on 21 Sep 2009 05:16 am by
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Past Member
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Posted: 25 Sep 2009 03:59 am |
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I felt same but managed to feel better when everybody noticed that I look greater than before.
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sjm1027
New Member
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Posted: 26 Jan 2012 09:08 pm |
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I have lost 291 pounds and feel the same way.
After years of being hammered by strangers, kids snickering, and adults ignoring you so wonder we feel the way we do. Now I notice people wanting to talk and hang out but I am not use to being open and happy doing this. It's funny I always said to myself, wait until I lose my weight, I will be normal... everything will be great... well things are fantastic.. I can do things I could never even thought of doing... it s freeing BUT... i have those memories that will be there forever.
I still wouldn't trade my new life for anything, it's great to be a normal weight. BUT the harder challenge is here now... Maintenance... it's harder than I imagined but will never go back to the old me.
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busty
New Member
| Joined: | 21 Mar 2012 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 5 |
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Posted: 21 Mar 2012 11:55 pm |
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I don't know why it would bother you but for me it would irritate me because then I'd realize how bad they all thought I used to look!
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angelikmayhem
New Member
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Posted: 4 Jul 2012 07:52 pm |
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I lost 75 lbs. Two things I noticed.
First, I still live in fear of having my picture taken. I run away and hide at all family functions (Christmas, Thanksgiving, weddings -- OMG, weddings!) so that I can't get cornered into getting my photo taken. What's even worse is that now that I'm thin, everyone wants a photo with me. So, I can hear them asking for me as I run into bathrooms and stuff. I may never cure myself of that.
Second, I noticed that I still act like a fatty in front of women. I have been told by my female friends that they don't understand why I'm not taking my body out for a test drive, so to speak, but in my interactions with the opposite sex, I am always thinking like a fat man. It's hard to explain what that means, really.
Anyway, that's what happened to me. - AM
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MackTheRat
New Member
| Joined: | 1 Aug 2012 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4 |
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Posted: 1 Aug 2012 11:00 am |
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I would love to be confident. I wouldn't say I'm confident now, but I've pretty much been made fun of my whole life and have grown a thick skin to it. Anything hurtful that can be said, has been said.
I have lost about 20 lbs (in the middle of a stall) hoping to get slimmed down. I think the only superficial goal I really have is being able to go to the beach, take off my shirt without being embarassed about my moobs (man-boobs) and feel the sun on my skin for once in my life.
So I know where you're coming from. I keep hearing "dress like you're thin and you'll feel thin" but really I just think I look like a sausage.
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bethshek444
New Member
| Joined: | 1 Oct 2012 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
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Posted: 10 Oct 2012 05:12 am |
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| Does drinking to much water everyday contribute to obesity?
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Current time is 07:03 pm | |
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