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bob367
New Member
| Joined: | 5 May 2009 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 5 May 2009 04:48 am |
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I really have a big problem on my hands I have been having issues with the female I love more than anything in this world because there are times i can be to passive in helping her with her binge eating she says I am not firm enough with her and i know she loves me but i really need to be more firm with her the main problem is the fact i love her so much i really don't want to upset her i know it sounds really dumb but i need some suggestions on how to help her so I don't lose her forever please any suggestion will help i don't want he out of my life she's everything to me please help
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CrimsonAnimus
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 5 May 2009 08:21 am |
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Hi, Bob!
This is a very difficult and delicate situation, but at least she does appear to acknowledge that she needs help. That is important.
The bottom line, however, is that she will not change until she truly has the desire to do so. As someone who is still trying to recover from binge eating, it bears to note how much of a profound effect food can have on someone's life.
For most binge eaters, it has little to do with the food itself, but rather the unbiased and instant comfort that food brings. To begin the recovery process, she will have to replace her desires to binge with something else. It's a long and arduous process, and that's where you come into the picture.
A firm hand works on some individuals, but it will not on others. The best thing you can probably do is encourage her - let her know that you believe in her, and let her know it often. Likewise, let her know how much you care about her, and her health, and how much it hurts you to see her this way. Don't try to make her feel guilty about it, however, as this usually worsens the situation, and might make her fall deeper into despair. Yes, I know you have our own needs as well, and that is important, but if you are truly interested in helping her, then it will take patience and sacrifice on your part.
Try to work with her to identify which of her emotions trigger binge eating, and work on replacing her binge eating behavior with other behaviors, on an individual emotion level. Does she binge when she is bored? Try to do things to get her out of the house when she is bored - go for a walk, go shopping, etc. If it's anger, perhaps you could try listening to music (works for me) or taking up some activity that is adrenaline-pumping. If it's depression, then again, work on getting her out of the house, and encourage her to spend more time with you, and with her friends.
Best of luck to you both.
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bob367
New Member
| Joined: | 5 May 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 6 May 2009 03:31 am |
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| thank you for your advice ill give your advice a shot its been really hard the past month for me to go out and do things since i have been working 3rd shifts 7 days a week
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Past Member
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Posted: 16 May 2009 06:34 am |
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Hi,Bob!
Have you ever thought that she may overeat because she feels emptiness inside and you are always busy?
That is not to say that you are guilty!No,you are not.
Emotional overeating has to do with our inner thinking and feeling patterns and it is her responsibility to recover if she wishes to do so.
But you could help her by being there for her,supporting,encouraging and maybe calling her more frequent if you are not with her.
As a person who deals with people who suffer from eating disorders on a day-to-day basis,I see this as a case of emotional overeater and a workaholic...you both fit in in terms of your unconcious patterns.How long have you worked like that and been away for very long hours and very frequently?
Visit <Link removed> and maybe give her to read the website content because she may find it useful.
Last edited on 16 May 2009 10:44 am by
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