| getting through an eating disorder |
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emma1982
New Member
| Joined: | 5 Jun 2008 |
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| Posts: | 1 |
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Posted: 5 Jun 2008 09:05 am |
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hi all, just wanted to share my story. sorry its so long. Im now 25 and whilst growing up i was a quiet happy and never thought of myself as the type of person to have an eating disorder. It must have started around the time i was 21. I was always known as the thin one in my family. So when i came back off an all inclusive holiday i was discusted with myself for puting on weight. I think this started me thinking bad thoughts in general and before i knew it i was unhappy about most things in my life. At this point i didnt realsise this was my main problem, i thought it was the weight.
I decided to do something about my weight and felt a sence of achievment in losing weight. I set myself goals each week and it felt great when i matched them. Soon this became my main focus and as i became smaller it became harder to lose weight, so i would "up my game" and wear ancle weights. I remember being tired all the time and became a very angry person. This continued until the day a year later i went shopping for a bikini for my holiday. I remeber looking in the mirror and being shocked about how thin i became, half of me was scared to death but another half of me wanted to continue doing something i was so good at. More weight came off and family became worried but by this time so was i. I weighed 6 stone and im 5ft 6.
I finally agreed to see the doctor who made arragngements for me to see someone. I realised i wanted to change my life and later that week enrolled onto a college course. What really hit home for me was seeing my mom brake down in tears with worry. I remember having a chocolate bar then worried myself sick that i was suddenly going to put on laods of weight and lose control. This is where anorexia turned into binge eating, i would go days without eating much so i could pig out but even then i would use laxatives to ease the guilt. Things got better whilst at college my main focus became that and soon i made a few friends, the eating was still bad but i would allow myself to eat more it helped waching others eat normally in the canteen. I was feeling better with how my life was going. I started making an effort to go out with the few friends i had made.
It was last year i would say i was definatly on the mend. I felt good enough to join a dating website. I went on 2 dates that didnt go well. Then i met a 3rd person who a year later im still madly in love with and he makes me feel really good. Every now and then i worry about my weight and i cant help but count my callories every day but its not taking over! I will have that cake if i want it. Im happy and it feels good!
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WiltedLotus
New Member
| Joined: | 3 Jun 2008 |
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| Posts: | 9 |
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Posted: 5 Jun 2008 12:20 pm |
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I'm glad that you've gotten help and stopped the destructive pattern! You sound like a wonderful person and wish you all the best in the future! 
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