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Past Member
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Posted: 27 Sep 2006 02:32 am |
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Okay...I'm new here and going to post my story and see what ya'll think. One friend,who had anorexia,especially thinks I have an ED.
I'm 16 yrs old. Was always a chubby kid,but not overly chubby. I weighed 103 pounds when I was 11.
Well,then I developed depression at 13. The medication I was on,Lithium,caused quite a bit of weight gain.
But,it never bothered me. I loved food! Wasn't gonna diet.  That is,until one day. At school. See,I was an honor student,private school,and after finishing my work,I got to work with the younger classes. I was helping a 2nd grader,Joshua,on the computer,when he looked up at me and asked,"Why don't you lose weight?"
So of course,I went home and cried that day in 2004. And,I started eating one meal a day and sometimes a snack. It hurt me.
Much more recently...since around December '05,my "one meal a day" has gone down. I started seeing a Nutritionist this August after my Mom found out I was only eating 300-400 calories a day.
So I started eating more the past month.
You'd think it'd be the end of my story...right? Wrong.
I found another way,if I feel I ate too much. I purge it. I feel guilty for eating more than a meal or two a day. I feel as if my fat body doesn't deserve it. Sooo....I let it go. Every time I eat and feel that guilt. This has been for a few weeks now,
Soo,here I am. My Nutritionist hasn't actually ever diagnosed me with anything. But,she has threatened to hospitalize me. I'm currently in an outpatient program as part of the hospital but,if it doesn't work,she said I'd become in-patient.
But it's like,every morsel of food I put in my mouth will just make me even more fat. Not like I aren't,already.
I'm really not comfortable posting my weight  but...my height is 5'4-5'5 (not entirely sure) and I'd like to weigh maybe like...105.
My weight though.....if I told you,you certainly wouldn't jump up and think I'm anyone with an ED...unless it was binge-eating.
And,BTW- In case you are wondering,the next available appointment with Leah,my Nutritionist,wasn't until October 13th. So,I won't see her until then. She does not know yet about the purging.
Okay...thanks for reading. Glad I found this forum! 
Last edited on 27 Sep 2006 02:36 am by
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REDQUEEN
New Member
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Posted: 27 Sep 2006 12:46 pm |
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HEY LISA,
I CAN REALLY IDENTIFY WITH YOUR STORY. I, TOO, SUFFER FROM BULIMIA. I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SAY THAT IF YOU THINK THAT YOU EAT TOO MUCH, OR THAT IF YOU HAVE HAD TOO MANY CALORIES YOU HAVE THE OVERWHELMING NEED TO PURGE.
I, UNFORTUNATELY, AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER. I WISH THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO "COULDN'T EAT A BITE" WHEN THE LEAST THING UPSETS THEM. BUT LUCKY ME, I COULD EAT AND EAT. . . THEN I PURGE AND PURGE.
MY CIRCUMSTANCES ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, BUT IN THE END WE ARE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME.
THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU TO DO IS TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR NUTRITIONIST. I TOLD MY DOCTOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, AND I HAVE GOT TO TELL YOU LISA, IT WAS THE HARDEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER DONE. BUT I WAS REALLY GLAD THAT I DID. WE TALKED THINGS OVER , AND HE SUGGESTED THAT I MEET WITH A THERAPIST, BUT SO FAR I HAVEN'T GOT UP MY COURAGE TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP YOU. THIS SITE IS WONDERFUL. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE SAM STRUGGLES AND IT IS NICE TO HAVE A PLACE WHERE WE CAN ALL MEET. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS.
YOUR FRIEND,
REDQUEEN
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Heavenseventeen
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 Oct 2006 08:22 pm |
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I haven't been in your situation, but it would be a good idea to tell your nutritionist. Be totally honest- it'll help you in the long run. I think you should discuss your target weight with her as well. 105lbs it the lowest healthy weight for people who are 5 ft 2, not your height.
Good luck !!
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Nir
Senior Administrator
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Posted: 4 Oct 2006 03:04 pm |
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If you're 5'4" you're underweight at 107lb; If you're 5'5" you're underweight at 111lb.
You don't say what your weight is, which makes it hard to calculate your RMR. If you were 120lb, your RMR would be 1327. If it was 150lb it would be 1463. (There is an RMR calculator on this website.) If you eat less calories than your RMR then
- it makes it hard to get all the nutrients your body need (including protein, minerals, vitamins, pytochemicals, essential fats)
- you are likely to lose more muscle than fat
- your metabolism will slow down
This tutorial topic is particularly relevant: What It Takes to Lose It All
So let's look at a summary:
- You don't say what your weight is, but you are implying that you are overweight or at least have some weight to lose.
- But you are trying to lose it in a way which is 1) unhealthy and 2) simply not effective - you'll have more success at fat loss by eating more calories [at a level that is a little bit more than your RMR but not too much higher - possibly combined with some exercise]
- Your ultimate goal weight would make you underweight. You will look slimmer at a healthy weight by toning up your muscles. The scales will show a higher number but you will be slimmer and more scuplted.
- Nutrition is important to a developing woman. Being undernourished means you may not fully develop.
Of course, all of the above is just facts and doesn't address weather you have an eating disorder and what to do about it.
Starving yourself, or purging could just be someone who is misinformed about what to do, who thinks this is the "best way" to lose weight. My opinion is that it could very well be an eating disorder and I would recommend you seek counselling if it is available to you. I've just started some and I think it might be helpful to me. [I am also one of those people who, based on what I look like, would guess the wrong eating disorder. My BMI is 20..21 so they'd of course guess anorexia/bulimia instead of binge-eating.]
If it is health-related education, educate yourself. If it is healing you require, take the next step. Good luck.
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Spicy
New Member
| Joined: | 20 Oct 2006 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: 20 Oct 2006 11:33 pm |
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Hey Lisa
I am truly sorry about the things that you are going through. I f it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. I have an ED, it is Bulimia mixed with Anorexia, similar to you I would only eat a little bit a day and if i had more than "i consider" enough which is above 800 cal i would purge. Anyways, it was ok for about a year but then I would get light headed, my throat would really heart, I'd have awful looking bags under my eyes, I am doing a huge damage to my body and do you. Its have been two years since i started purging, but about a month ago i decided that enough is enough and nobody worth me hurting myself. I deserve to be healthy and happy and so do you. I am not saying it is easy to stop purging or make yourself eat or stop overeating, god knows its like i have an evil voice in my head that wouldn't let do anything until i get all the food out of myself, but i refuse to listen to it (doesn't always work, but i do my very best). I went by myself to the ED center to get help, it was TERRIFYING the least to say about it, but i am pretty proud of myself for doing it. I am seeing a nutritionist, therapist and getting meds for my depression as well (yep got one of those too, aren't i lucky ) Don't be afraid to tell your nutritionist about purging, you only would do yourself a favor. Get help, there is nothing wrong with it. Trust me i know, everybody would look at you as a strong individual if you do that, and whoever doesn't are being ignorant and stupid and you do not want to be around those people. In any case I can bla for hours but after all today is my Birthday and i must celebrate.
Please take care of yourself
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