| Author | Post |
|---|
Past Member
|
Posted: 5 Oct 2005 07:13 pm |
|
I am doing a few things to help lose weight, I workout 6 days a week, weight training and running on my elliptical. I am also on the South each diet and with the combination of the two have really been able to shed some pounds.
I've noticed it, my husband notices it and a lot of the ladies I work with notice it and ask what I am doing. I tell them and the first thing out of their mouth is how they 'can't exercise', 'can't not eat bread, rice, or whatever', 'can't live without soda, snacking, Cheesecake factory'. So far I have been nice, I smile, say yes it is hard but I am determined. Of course what I want to say is STOP WHINING ABOUT BEING FAT ON YOUR WAY TO THE SNACK MACHINE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!! I mean we all have lives, I have 3 kids, a full time job, a husband, chores, and all of that stuff but I made the decision that I don't like being 5'2 and 174 pounds. Its not healthy and not attractive to me.
I don't want to seem like a 'preacher' but it is SO frustrating to hear the excuses, then the whining, then the 'wow I wish I had your will power' I mean I guess at first it was sort of nice to be envied but the whining is just SO annoying. What do you say when the same women scarfing down a Snickers and soda number 3 are complaining that they never can lose wieght?
Ok maybe I just needed to vent and get that off my chest. I am going to enjoy AND flaunt my success and just let them whine! :chew:
|
Corina
Distinguished Member
|
Posted: 5 Oct 2005 07:26 pm |
|
I totally feel you! I want to just scream and tell them:
"It's no wonder why you're fat! You're on your third donut in a row! And what about when you eat your entire meal and say 'I'm FULL' and then grab dessert?!"
Just let them whine! And enjoy your new body!
:D
|
Peter
Founder of this forum
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4180 |
|
Posted: 5 Oct 2005 07:28 pm |
|
If I can broaden the topic to others frustrating us...
I used to go to business lunches with customers all the time. Huge affairs with drinks, appetizers, huge meals, desserts... and this was only lunch!
When the desserts came and I was the only one that didn't get one someone would always announce, "You're not having dessert? Why, you the only one here that could have one without a worry!"
Obviously I was the only one there that wasn't fat... because I wasn't having one!
Peter
P.S.
Course, it wasn't always that way.
Once I ordered this super rich chocolate cake and wanted it ala mode so the vanilla ice cream would smooth down the richness a bit. The didn't serve it that way, but the waiter said he could order me ice cream too. So I whispered to the waiter to put the ice cream on the same plate so no one would notice I was ordering two desserts.
Another waiter brought the desserts and after serving them announced that he had one left over. Had they goofed, he asked? No... in front of everyone I had to explain that the ice cream was to go with my cake. Then of course I got teased for ordering two desserts.
Guess I've been on both sides of the fence!
|
Aryn
New Member
| Joined: | 22 Sep 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 139 |
|
Posted: 5 Oct 2005 07:34 pm |
|
I know exactly what you mean. I used to work with a guy that said that having sleep apnea caused him to be overweight. I wanted so bad to say, "...and the 3 candy bars and the box of cookies you ate before lunch could not have possibly had anything to do with you being over weight???" And what is up with him blaming sleep apnea for his weight problem anyway. I think he got that backwards. I am no doctor but I would have to guess that the weight caused his sleep apnea.
Those people that make excuses are just not ready to change. They just want to find an easy way to loose weight without having to do any work.
Anyway, good job on your success. Keep up the good work!
|
fantasia31
Senior Member
|
Posted: 5 Oct 2005 09:42 pm |
|
I used to be one of those people that whined about it. I tell ya though, after doing this only three weeks I can really see why I gained all that weight! It amazes me that a few simple things was all it took to push me over the edge!
I think we believe we are eating well and not really doing it. It's a lack of education about how many calories are *really* in the food we eat! Butter is a good example, it's 100 calories per serving, yet many use it quite generously! It's no wonder we as a society are overweight! We don't educate ourselves aboout the calorie and fat content of the food we eat.
For me, it was a lack of planning and a lack of education. I might think I'm doing really well when I eat a salad, but when I used to add 300 calories worth of dressing to my salad that did not really help!
|
AshenShugar
Member
|
Posted: 23 Oct 2005 08:22 pm |
|
I totally understand what you are saying. I am male, 5'6. I started at 298 and am now at 221--this in the course of about 6 months. I have about 40 pounds to go.
People always come up to me, tell me how good I look, and then ask me how I did it. I like the compliments, but have grown weary of explanations. The only "secret" to losing the weight is that there is no secret other than determination. You have to be absolutely ruthless in terms of diet and exercise, and decide that nothing and no one is going to stop you.
It's not this diet or that diet, or only eating meat on Tuesday, or this supplement that burns fat--all that is BS. It's a cold-blooded mathematical exercise of figuring out your calorie requirements based on age, weight, and activity (including workouts). Once you have that number, you figure out how many calories you can safely eat while maintaining the rate of weight loss. Then you have to stick to your calorie schedule at all costs, and more important still, maintain or increase your activity level (I did this by working extra shifts, and my job is so busy there's no time to eat). Will you be tired? Yes. Will you be discouraged sometimes? Of course. Any worthwhile accomplishment is difficult. That is what these people do not grasp.
It's true some foods are better for weight loss than others, and I generally avoid fats and excess sugar. But calories are the ultimate determinate. Burn them, and you'll lose weight. Don't burn them and you won't.
|
Peter
Founder of this forum
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4180 |
|
Posted: 30 Oct 2005 05:23 am |
|
Gonnaloseit,
You are most welcome to express your thoughts and opinions, though I think you came pretty close to breaking the forum Terms of Use about being courteous.
I read all the above posts pretty carefully and I don't see the other members saying anything to imply that they think are perfect. In fact, I don't think anyone that thought they were perfect or knew all the answers would be a member of this forum. We're all here to get help.
I also don't think anyone expressed that they think "ALL overweight people sit and eat junk food." The topic is about people that do, and then annoy us with talk about why they aren't thin.
The purpose of this forum is to share ideas. If you don't care what others have to say -- for whatever reason -- perhaps you would do better elsewhere.
Peter
|
gonnaloseit
New Member
| Joined: | 25 Sep 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 13 |
|
Posted: 30 Oct 2005 05:33 am |
|
It is nice that all of you are so perfect and think you have the answers. I don't care what you have to say about my response because again, you will think you have the answers and know it all.
And by the way, not ALL overweight people sit and eat junk food or stuff themselves crazy.
And sorry to burst your bubble, but not all people have tremendous will power and can accomplish at everything they do. I feel sorry for your children. Sure hope they never fail at ANYTHING! 
AND to make it clear, I am NOT whinin. I just simply dislike people that think they know it all and everyone's life and circumstances. Grow up...
|
NevD
New Member
| Joined: | 26 Oct 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 1536 |
|
Posted: 30 Oct 2005 07:45 am |
|
First off, gonnaloseit, let me state that I'm not perfect (and my wife will back me up on this) -
I think you make a useful comment when you point out that not all overweight people stuff themselves with junk food all day.
Some of the people I've worked with ate almost nothing at all, and still were stuck with their weight problem.
I came to the conclusion, after observing a number of them, that they were suffering from 'PSDS' - that's Post Serial Diet Syndrome' - don't worry if that's new to you; it's a term I invented. What I mean is, they had put themselves through years of 'yo-yo dieting', i.e. they'd crash dieted, then fallen off the wagon, then gone back to another crash diet.... Each time they did it, they lost muscle as well as fat, and thus slowed down their metabolisms even further. Eventually, whatever they ate (and however little of it) was converted to body fat.
And you can bet that getting out of that quandary takes a lot of planning, and it's not just more 'dieting' that's needed!
It's a shame you took offence at the tenor of this thread, but a few particular cases don't invalidate the generality of the truth that most people are overweight because they don't effectively monitor what they eat and how they exercise.
Good luck with your own progress,
NevD 
|
gonnaloseit
New Member
| Joined: | 25 Sep 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 13 |
|
Posted: 31 Oct 2005 05:51 am |
|
Peter ~
If it would have been clearly stated that this topic was on people that stuff themselves, and then annoy others with talk about why they aren't thin, then I would not have found this forum offensive.
I got the sense that it was the originator of this thread thought that if anyone is fat, it is there own fault and it isn't hard to lose weight.
Sorry for the confusion. It's just after reading her post, I feel embarrassed to even talk about my difficulties with weight loss....
I am glad that some can find weight loss so easy. People who overeat and complain about being fat need help and encouragement, not more putting down. I have a hard time not eating junk food and I still "whine" about being fat (to myself), but I do know the reasons why I am. It isn't always easy to stop eating unhealthy foods. I guess this is considered "whining", though.
AnTrelle ~ Maybe if so many people whine to you and you are successful with losing weight, you should offer them help. Offer them advice in a friendly way. I know that is not always possible, but if they are friends or family, you are doing them a favor....just a thought.
Last edited on 31 Oct 2005 05:53 am by gonnaloseit
|
AshenShugar
Member
|
Posted: 1 Nov 2005 04:04 pm |
|
gonnaloseit wrote: It is nice that all of you are so perfect and think you have the answers. I don't care what you have to say about my response because again, you will think you have the answers and know it all.
And by the way, not ALL overweight people sit and eat junk food or stuff themselves crazy.
And sorry to burst your bubble, but not all people have tremendous will power and can accomplish at everything they do. I feel sorry for your children. Sure hope they never fail at ANYTHING!
AND to make it clear, I am NOT whinin. I just simply dislike people that think they know it all and everyone's life and circumstances. Grow up...
Well, gee--I don't remember anyone saying they were perfect, nor saying they had all the answers. As for the business about willpower, you can cry all you want about how unfair it is that some people find the motivation to change while others do not. But crying won't change a thing. It is a simple fact of life that worthwhile accomplishments are difficult, which is why they are considered worthwhile in the first place. Wishful thinking won't change that, nor will it get ride of your gut.
You seem to think that willpower is some kind of natural gift that is arbitrarily and unfairly given to certain people. News flash--it isn't. It is a CHOICE. We made the CHOICE to lose weight no matter what it took, just as others choose not to. It took me 34 years to build the willpower, and if we had all started with it the way you think we would never have gotten fat in the first place.
Nothing was given to any of us on this forum who have lost weight. We earned it. We earned it by hard work and sacrifice--if you read some of our stories you will realize just how hard it has been and how much some of us have sacrificed. We are entitled to feel pride in our accomplishments. After all, every one of us has paid the necessary price--paid in full. And if that means we get impatient with those who think there is a magic cure, a way to do this without real effort, so be it. And as for life circumstances.....again, read some of our stories. Depression, disease, injury, childhood trauma, poverty--we've all faced them, neither more nor less than anyone else. The only difference is that we've overcome these obstacles. How did we overcome them?
Simple. We did it by deciding to do it. There is no other way. You say grow up. Well, I think we have. We decided to take some responsibility and control over our lives. For some reason I thought that WAS a sign of maturity.
|
gonnaloseit
New Member
| Joined: | 25 Sep 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 13 |
|
Posted: 2 Nov 2005 03:46 am |
|
AshenShugar ~
I actually find your post refreshing. You seem to really know what it takes for weight loss. You seem to misunderstand me the same way I apparently misunderstood the originator of this thread.
I never said there was a magic cure to weight loss. AnTrelle seemed to imply that it was very easy for her. Unfortunately, she has not participated in this discussion anymore so that I know exactly how she feels. And no one actually has to say they are perfect or have the answers. It's just how things sounded from her.
Please understand where I am coming from. I am not whining, or looking for a magic cure. I am just still looking for that will power that I know I have, just have a hard time finding. I am only 21 years old. You said that it took you 34 years to find your will power. Try to remember how hard it was when you first started with weight trouble. I am still at that point.
I just found AnTrelle's post offensive. Maybe it was "tough love" for fat people. I still didn't like it.
And it bothers me that Peter had problems with my post. but didn't care about how her ranting and raving would affect others.
Last edited on 2 Nov 2005 03:48 am by gonnaloseit
|
Peter
Founder of this forum
| Joined: | 24 May 2005 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 4180 |
|
Posted: 2 Nov 2005 03:59 am |
|
I think I fussed about your post because it was directed at another forum member.
I am not perfect either, but don't tell my kids!
Peter
|
AshenShugar
Member
|
Posted: 2 Nov 2005 08:38 am |
|
If I did misunderstand you, I apologize. As for your motivation, I think you have to analyze your goals, and the motives behind those goals.
The more powerful the motive, the more dedicated you will be to your goal and the more willpower you will have. In my case, besides wanting to be healthy, my primary motivation is wanting to be more attractive to women. I think we would all agree that sex is a very powerful motivator--certainly it makes people do stupid things all the time (at least it has for me :P). Why not put it to good use for a change? And I've found that the nice thing about it is that it is an instinct just as powerful as the urge to eat; it is the urge to reproduce. When all the other reasons I had were added in, it tilted the balance in favor of weight loss. It has given me enough willpower--so far, anyway.
In your case I don't know what motives you have. Peter mentioned that his doctor told him he would die if he didn't lose the weight. That's the most powerful instinct of all--survival. There's an old saying: "Nothing concentrates the mind like the prospect of being hanged in the morning." It's unfortunate, but I think the main motivation has to be something similarly powerful to overcome weight problems--sex, survival, etc. Or you have to have built up some other goal in your mind as extremely important--a goal that requires you lose the weight--winning a marathon, for example.
That's why it's so hard. Eating is instinctive, and most people don't pay attention to the fact that instincts are just as important to us as they are to animals; often they are unaware that it is instinct driving their behavior. Fortunately, our brains allow us to override instinct if necessary. Ever seen a dog go on a diet?
I think in the end you have to find something that is extremely important to you, something that you can't have unless you overcome the weight problem. That will give you all the motivation you need.
|
Past Member
|
Posted: 15 Nov 2005 06:19 pm |
|
Wow I am just now seeing this message and didn't realize that my vent would cause such an uproar. I've been so busy trying to win the office pool to see who could shed the most weight and inches this past month that I hadn't been on here much. By the way..I won :D
As it is stated in the last line of my original post I needed to get that vent off my chest. That was it, not to point fingers at anyone, not to make anyone feel bad, I just needed to share my frustration. I do not think I am perfect, I do not think I have ANY, much less all of the answers and I know how hard it is to lose weight because I am working my butt off at it every single day and not making excuses for myself.
As for your advice gonnaloseit...I DO try to offer help to anyone that asks how I've been able to change my body, when anyone asks I tell them that I work out for at least an hour or two 6 days a week, I don't eat cake, or cookies, drink soda or sweet tea, watch my calories and how hard it has been but I feel like it is totally worth it. I ask if they'd like to take a walk at lunch trying to just start out with small steps, if they'd like to do a weight loss challenge. Anything to try to motivate them but if these people that do whine don't have it in themselves to change their habits what more can I do? As far as your comment about feeling sorry for my children if they ever fail at anything, I support my kids 100% in anything they attempt no matter how well or poorly they do, and I've told them the only way they can fail in my eyes is if they don't try.
I really hope you-and everyone else on here- reach your weight loss goals and you don't feel ashamed to talk about your struggles here, I think being open and honest with yourself is the first step to making a change.
|
Current time is 02:12 pm | |
|
|
|
